My Story of 44

"Life is a book and your forties are the chapters when it all starts making sense."

Hello World! Hello Friends! Hello Loved Ones!! Hello All!!

Today is a special day. Nothing out of the ordinary for most, but very treasured by me! It is the day I celebrate being brought into existence!

I can't complain too much about my time in this life. It's a good life. I'm grateful for all the good, and on most days, I'm also grateful for the bad. I mean, without it, I wouldn't be the ME that is sitting here writing to you.

Even in this life where I am so very appreciative of all I have, and being able to see the beauty in most situations, I do struggle... sometimes quite a bit. It's just part of my charm, I guess. We'll just say it is my uniqueness spilling over!

This past year or so has been a particularly rough year. Yes, part of it is what everyone else is going thru living in a world of pandemics, lockdowns, & uncertainty. But I've had some scoops of other misgivings that have brought out some serious emotional turmoil.

As a side note, I will share as much of my story that I am comfortable sharing. Will it be the whole story... probably not. I do feel, in some way, that is going to be unfair for the reader, and I apologize for that. But, on the flip side, it is my story to tell... or not tell.

Some days I feel like I could move not just a mountain, but a whole mountain range... I'm inspired, motivated, full of life energy, & ready to just GO!! These are glorious days. Most days I'm content...I am able to do what needs done (even if it happens in slow motion), I am feeling grateful, my mood & mind are in good places to just sit and soak in life from my patio while enjoying a nice cup of coffee.

Then there are the hard days. I know we all have them. Our "shadow days". For me, I end up feeling a little lost, definitely defeated, I just want to hide from everything & everyone because I don't really feel like I am made for this world. Those are tough moments, days, weeks... whichever the situation calls for.

But, I'm not just an anxious & depressed time bomb walking about...I am a homeschooling mom, I have four most amazing children, a wonderful Husband which I love & admire with all of my being, I am a daughter to a mother I lost way too soon, a sister to siblings far, far away whom I wish I was closer to, a friend who will love you dearly, but isn't the best at keeping in touch... I love coffee, I crave new experiences, I dream of a gypsy life, I'm creative & kind, I am sensitive & empathetic, I care, A LOT, I am curious & ask a bunch of questions, I seek knowledge & understanding, I do my best to look at things from different perspectives, I love life on most days, there is so much more...at the end of the day I am a bundle of unique & complicated doobobs which have come together to create this beautiful mess that is ME.